Anyone for tennis?

Two of them were betting on the Wimbledon final. The one whose barks and yelps favoured Jannik Sinner won five bucks.The third one didn’t show much interest but got a consolation prize anyway.

The $5, underwritten by me, gets a bag o’ doggie treats for rescue dogs Shantelle, Gabriela and Archie (right), a lovable KD, a mixed breed Kumusha dog or Kraal dog in today’s politically correct language.

The quaintly named All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club in west London is a very staid British institution. Not  men’s or women’s matches here –  pompously, they’re always called gentlemen’s and ladies’ games instead.

The all-white dress code is enforced unlike, say, at the French Open at Roland Garros where almost anything colourful or suggestive is acceptable.

And what at Wimbledon, pray, is croquet? It is a ball, mallet  and hoops game, sometimes known as ground billiards, played on village greens for centuries.

Tennis, like cricket, is a legacy left in old  British colonies like this one. (Early in his reign Robert Mugabe once famously declared: “Cricket civilises people and creates good gentlemen. I want everyone in Zimbabwe to play cricket. I want ours to be nation of gentlemen.”)

Nice one Robert, a pity it didn’t work.

Centre Court attracts celebs and the rich, all dressed like they had come for a fashion show. Champagne and gin and tonics are to be found there along with the obligatory strawberries and cream.The extravagance might seem over the top to us Third Worlders living almost penniless under  corrupt, poorly-run regimes. But it’s a big and different world out there.

Spectator tickets for the Wimbledon finals start at about US$500, rising to $3,000 and even $20,000 on the black market. Sinner the winner, 23, walked away with $4 million in prize money for his agile, intelligent and breathtaking play. (Right: At the tennis. Award winning British singer and actress Cynthia Eriva)

Both the Italian and the ladies’ singles winner Iga Swiatek, 24, of Poland were suspended from the game last year after failing doping tests for steroids that they claimed came from routine medications they had taken unaware of the ingredients.

Some of the losers thought the pair should never have been allowed to play this year at the grandest and oldest established Grand Slam tournament.

Throughout the Wimbledon fortnight, cameras panned on the VIP stands on Centre Court. Wow, there’s Cliff Richard! someone cried out at a local sports bar. Who the hell is he? a youngster called. Ask your dad or your grandpa, he was told. Cliff Richard is 84.

Someone else said the west London district is known as Zimbledon for all the successful Zimbo fugitive diasporans living there.

After the finals, tennis royalty gathered for a banquet at the swanky Raffles club in Whitehall. The winners danced together.

My pets had a feast of their own wolfing down their shares of the bag o’ treats.